When we talked about emotions at number 6, I said that one of the keys to Carefrontation is grounding yourself before you speak. At number 5, we’re moving into a different—but equally tricky—territory: silence.
#5: Mistaking Silence for Agreement
One of the sneakiest pitfalls in a Carefrontation moment is assuming that no pushback means alignment. You share feedback, the other person nods politely, maybe even says “Got it,” and you walk away feeling like progress has been made.
Here’s the problem: silence doesn’t always mean buy-in. In fact, silence often means resistance—just not the kind people feel comfortable voicing in the moment. And if you’re in sales, you know this better than anyone. A quiet prospect isn’t necessarily a sold prospect. It could mean confusion, skepticism, or even outright disagreement that they just don’t want to express.
The same thing happens inside teams. A rep hears feedback from their manager and doesn’t ask questions because they don’t want to look defensive. An enablement professional rolls out a new process, and people stay quiet in the meeting but complain about it later in Slack. The feedback “landed,” but it didn’t stick.
That’s why Carefrontation requires more than delivering your message—it requires confirming understanding and alignment. It’s about leaning into the silence and asking:
- “How does this land with you?”
- “What part of this feels unclear or hard to put into practice?”
- “Is there anything you disagree with here?”
By creating space for honesty, you move the conversation from passive nodding to active engagement. And that’s where growth happens.
For me, this lesson is a favorite because it reminds us that feedback isn’t a one-way street. Carefrontation isn’t just about what you say—it’s about what the other person hears, believes, and commits to. If you stop at the delivery, you miss half the conversation.
So next time you’re giving feedback—or receiving it—pay attention to the silence. It might be the loudest signal in the room.
Coming up next: #4. This one gets into one of my favorite aspects of Carefrontation, because it’s where courage and clarity intersect.
